Warrior Mom

Talia and Maddox

This is my cousin Talia. When I was born I was brought home from the hospital to a house that was directly across the street from Talia's. Our mom's are sisters and best friends. We grew up together on that street. All of us cousin's playing all day long together. When I was 6 years old, Talia's brother who is my age, and I would come home from morning Kindergarten together on the bus. Then Talia's dad would watch us until our mom's came home from work. Tal is two years older than me. She is the same age as my older sister Kim. Tal, Kim and I were best friends. When my family moved to Vancouver, BC in 1988 I was devastated. We would spend our summers in Utah with Talia and her family. One summer Talia's brothers went up to Canada with my family, and Kim and I came to Cedar to stay with Talia. Even though Kim and Tal were the same age, Kim was sometimes too mature for our games. Tal and I did some seriously funny things. We had so much fun. In 1992 we moved back to Cedar City. We moved in with my grandparents because my parents were separated. We spent all day with Tal's family and went to my grandma's to sleep. She and my sister were my BEST friends. We were in Dance Magic together and our dance group was going to Hawaii to dance at the Pro Bowl. Our parents were getting divorced so Kim and I couldn't afford to go. Talia's grandpa on her dad's side said he would pay for her to go, but she chose not to because Kim and I couldn't. Sometimes when I couldn't talk to Kim about stuff, Talia was there. Talia went to high school at Cedar High but when I got there as a freshman Canyon View was built and Talia lived in their boundaries. She chose to go to CV for her junior and senior year while Kim and I went to Cedar High. Even though she was at the other school we remained best friends. We were all cheerleaders Kim, Tal, and I and when Cedar played CV we would cheer against each other during the game and then run over and hug when it was over. Talia and I worked together at Brad's Food Hut for 4 years. It was seriously some of the most fun times of my life. When Talia and Kim graduated Cedar and Canyon View went on a joint senior trip together. They went on a cruise to Mexico. During the summer of 2001 I served as maid of honor at 3 weddings. First my sister Kim's, then my friend Natalie Davis', then Talia's. When I got married Kim and Tal were both my maid of honors. I married a Smith and Talia married a Smith. (However, Kody would like me to say our husbands are not related) Talia's husband had big plans to become a master of the universe and so he took her away to live first in Sacramento, then Phoenix. She lived far away but we always kept in touch. I was the first out of the three of us to get pregnant. It was weird that I was the youngest and going to be a mom first. It wasn't that I didn't give them plenty of time. They had both been married for three years and I had been married for two. They had enough time to have a baby but they were smart and had waited. Anyway, Kim ended up having the first baby and then me. It was weird to have a baby before Tal. You know how you always picture the oldest going first. Tal is actually the oldest out of all three of us. Her bday is 3 months before Kim's. So when I was 10 months pregnant Talia found out she was going to have a baby. We all had boys! Talia gave birth to Kobe in Phoenix on Kim's birthday! Of course he was a beautiful baby. Have you seen his mother? Talia would go on to have two more kids in the next two years. First she had Maddox (a boy) when Kobe was 19 months old. Then she had Jaxyn (a girl) when Maddox was 15 months and Kobe wasn't even 3! Yes, three kids under the age of three!

But let me back track a bit.

When Kobe was almost two, Tal and her mom were watching Oprah. Jenny McCarthy was on TV talking about her son who had autism. Tal started thinking about Kobe and noticing he had some of the same tendencies that Jenny's son had displayed. For the full story click here. So after taking Kobe to the doctor Talia was forced to face the answer she was afraid of -AUTISM. At first when I found out Kobe was autistic I immediately thought how is Talia going to handle this. This is so huge and so much is still unknown about autism. And if you know Tal then you know that she isn't exactly the most organized/domestic/mature type to handle a situation like this. But Tal attacked the autism diagnosis at full speed. She was like a mom going into battle. A warrior mother willing to fight anyone or anything that got in her way of helping her son. She read everything she could get her hands on about autism. She got Kobe enrolled in therapy as soon as she could. She took him to many doctors for many opinions. She had him participate in medical studies. She fed him a special diet which included her making most to all of his meals from scratch. She collected his poop and mailed it to whoever needed it to study the effects different things had on him. She converted a room in her house into his therapy room so he could receive services always. She missed many family things because Kobe had class, or therapy, or a doctors appointment. She had to Kobe proof everything so he was kept safe in the house. She has dedicated her life to helping her son. But don't worry not only does she have Kobe. Remember she had two other kids all within 3 years. While she was living in Phoenix her husband went back to school to get his masters degree. So of course she was on her own most of the time while her husband worked and went to school. She couldn't really take the kids many places because Kobe requires one on one attention himself. It is a full time job taking care of a child with special needs. I get exhausted just watching her do it. So after being married for 9 years, living away from her family for at least 7 years, taking care of her kids mostly by herself, her husband comes home and says he wants out. By OUT I mean excused from the duties of being a real man and taking care of his family he helped create. By OUT I mean not having to honor the promises and convenants he made to be a husband. By OUT I mean becoming a total @#$% head and moving several states away and leaving his family behind. (Sorry but some people protect the ones they love by ranting about someone they don't particularly care for on the internet.) But if you're wondering how Tal is handling this new situation I'll tell you. Just like she handled Kobe's diagnosis. She is a fighter. She is fighting for all her kids now. Fighting for them to be as happy as possible while putting her needs aside. If you read her blog you would know that she isn't letting this stop her from doing what she needs to do for her family. She is going down a new road that isn't exactly what she thought her life would be. She is still managing to have fun like running into 50 cent in Vegas or getting mistaken for a Kardashian. I'm sure it sucks to be gorgeous and talented and skinny and have darling kids. But for her it's just a walk in the park. She takes it day by day but I know she will come out on top. (Hey Tal, I love your guts!)