Gratitude

There are so many people that have helped us through this experience. We are so humbled at the love and kindness everyone has shown our family. It is truly crazy to think of all that others have done. I need serious lessons in being more thoughtful and doing service for others. While in Salt Lake we stayed at Kody's aunt and uncle's house. They fed us so much food! They sent us meals to the hospital along with snacks and drinks daily. They drove me to the hospital when Kody and I were trading off nights. They were so great to us. My mom, dad, stepmom and aunts all took days off work to be there with us in the hospital. Kody's parents watched our kids back home, making things easier for us. My sister Kim and cousin Talia also helped with my kids.  We have had meals every night from neighbors, friends, family, and even one of my sweet little Kindergarten student's family, the Ross'. We have had gift cards for meals, cookies, bread, cokes, treats, etc. brought over.  My sweet friend, Martene cleaned my house when she heard we were coming home! Yes, that's right! She sterilized the whole place! And left us masks for visitors to wear so Maverick doesn't get sick. Andrew Lathrop and the young men in our ward fasted for Mav and then made a sign on our garage for our homecoming.  I am still in shock over the kindness people have shown us. I am truly speechless. I will NEVER forget the kindness and love we have felt. There are truly no words that can express how I feel inside. So I'll just say

THANK YOU!!!

I have had a lot of people say I have been strong through all this. Really, and truly, I haven't. I have been the BIGGEST baby ever. But, I have found ways to get through. It's called stealing from other people. I have stolen strength and faith from others left and right. Most of the people I have stolen from have been through unimaginable trials. Maverick's surgery was a walk in the park compared to what these mom's have been through. Whether they know it or not, I use their strength every day. When I get the poor me's I remember what others have been through and are still going through. One of the mom's I'm talking about is Kylee Kupfer Low. I have known Kylee a long time. Her older sister Sadie, is my good friend. Kylee's son Clutch, was born exactly one month before Maverick. He returned to Heavenly Father that same day. I think of her daily. I am in awe of how she has handled such unimaginable loss with such grace. I want to be as strong as she is when I grow up. Her attitude and testimony are AMAZING. Here is her story.

I also have stolen strength from another heart mom. Her name is Alena Hardy and her son Trey has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. He is such a fighter! He has had two open heart surgeries already. She has been so great to answer questions for me and share her story. We were going to get together at Primary Children's on Monday but we got released early. Thank you Kristy Hodson Robinson for introducing her to me.

It's been a little rough since we got home. Maverick has good days and bad days. He seems so happy and smiling one minute and then crying out the next. I know he is in pain sometimes and it is so sad. He has a hard time at night. I give him his pain meds but he still cries out in his sleep. He had a few rough nights and then a few good nights. But yesterday and today have been tough. He is sleeping now which is the only break I get. I took him to the doc on Wednesday. His chest is healing well. It can take months for his sternum to heal all the way. The skin on his chest is looking so good. He is eating and pooping. Those are good signs. I take him on Thursday for an EKG, chest Xray, and Echocardiogram. He will see Dr. Etheridge from Primary Children's. She will remove his stitches where the chest tube was. Hopefully he will have gained weight and his heart will be squeezing better. When we left the hospital his echo showed that his heart wasn't squeezing at the bottom as tightly as they want. They put him on a new heart medication to try and help it. Hopefully we can be off all meds some day. He really is looking SO good. I can't complain because it could be so much worse. His sleeping will hopefully improve so I can function during the day. He turned 8 months old yesterday! I am so happy that the surgery is behind us and we can start healing. Here are a million pictures of the surgery. 

Last chest pic before the surgery

Survival Kit from Nicole

Nicole made this bag. Cutest EVER!!!

Blanket made by Melanie Harris

Nicole DeMille made this sock monkey too!

Before surgery

Cardiac Intensive Care Unit

First time holding him. Day 2

Moving out of CICU

     

Maverick and my mom

Getting an echo on day 3

First smile 3:00AM

My mom and her sisters

Daddy and Mav




After his first bath

Bandage off

Our cute welcome home sign


Mav sucked his thumb so hard in the hospital he got a blister

First bath at home

Surgery Day

Monday was my last day at work. It was a rough day. It was hard to say goodbye to all my little kinder stars for awhile. My sweet friends at work Alecia Ross, Jadie Petersen, Mel Harris, Kim Almond (and Laura Albrecht) did the most amazing thing. They all went in on a "Survival Kit." It was out of control thoughtful and kind. It had so many things one would need to survive the hospital. Treats, drinks, books, magazines, earplugs, bathroom kits for men and women, a blanket that Mel Harris made, gift cards to restaurants that deliver to the hospital.

SO SO SO THOUGHTFUL.

 Those girls will never know how much they mean to me. That night we had a family sleep over in our room. McKoy, Mataya, Maverick, Kody and I were all together. Koy and Taya slept on the floor and Mav in his pack n play. It was nice to have all my {loves} in one room together. That night McKoy asked me something that broke my heart.

He asked if Maverick could die.

I told him Heavenly Father loves Mav and will watch over him. That while Mav's heart isn't beating that angels will be with him helping his body be strong. That the doctor will fix what is broken and that Mav will be healthy and whole again. It was an emotional night for everyone. Many of our family members came and kissed on Mav before we left. Kimi (my sister) held him while I packed. Janet and Kary (Kody's parents) brought pizza and then took Koy for an ice cream. Mataya didn't want to go. She has been being a mamas girl so they brought her one back. My mom and Richard (my step dad) came over along with Kason, Steph, and Karson (Kody's brothers and sis in law). My best friend Natalie brought a sweet gift. It was kind of everyone to show their love for our son. In the past we have had our family members or Kody give Mav blessings. Kody decided to do something different. He asked our friend and bishop Tyler Albrecht if he would give the blessing. Tyler brought his brother Scott Albrecht that lives around the corner and Vern Spencer a neighbor to give the blessing. I felt a little strange not having our family members there but it turned out nice. It was very intimate and I was able to keep my emotions in check. 

Tuesday morning we got up and sent McKoy on the bus to school. On our porch was THE CUTEST bag ever!!! My best friend since I was 4 years old, Nicole DeMille made it. She is the most talented woman ever. Inside was a survival kit with everything you can think of. Treats, drinks, a book, lotion, chapstick, downy, tide, quarters for the laundromat, and so much more. But the best part was a little sock monkey she made that has a heart sewn on it. It even made Kody cry! It was the nicest gift ever! I have the best friends ever!!! After we recovered from finding such a sweet gift on the porch we put Mataya in the car and drove to Talia's. She tended Mataya Tuesday until my mom got off work. We drove to Salt Lake and checked into the hospital at 1:00. We got Mav's paperwork filled out. His chest X-ray, and blood work were also done to prepare for surgery. They couldn't seem to get him to bleed and had to poke him in each hand and each arm. It took awhile and was super sad. Then he had to pee in a bag. We waited and he never peed so we left and drove to Kody's aunts house. We unloaded our stuff and by then Mav had peed. So we drove back to the hospital to deliver the pee. It was a long day.
That night we ate dinner and stayed at Kody's aunts. Mav couldn't eat after midnight except for clear liquids until 4:00am. I couldn't sleep most of the night. The primary song "A Child's Prayer" kept playing in my head. The words "Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?" kept playing in my head. I tried and tried to sleep. We got up at 5:30 am Wednesday to get to the hospital by 7:00am. Surgery was scheduled to begin at 8:30am. When we got checked in Mav got baby scrubs and was happy but starving.

Many people came in and spoke with us about what was going to happen. The surgeon came in and explained the surgery. Then some nurses came in and talked with us about stuff. Finally my dad and step mom found us and came into the room. The anesthesiologist came in and took us on a walk. He showed us where we would wait and where we would receive updates. He gave us a pager and talked with us about how to use it. Then we came to the end of a hall. And we were told to say goodbye. I have to say that my mind is a dangerous place and I should not be allowed to wander in there alone. I had imagined this moment a million times in my mind. I had pictured saying goodbye to my precious angel and not ever seeing him again with a beating heart. I had pictured falling to the ground after they took my baby away overcome with grief. I had pictured anything and everything you can imagine. And I'll tell you the emotions I had imagined were spot on. I was afraid of so many things. My baby's face was covered in tears that weren't his. They were mine, Kody's, my dad's, and Shelley's. I kissed him and hugged him and then handed him over. He started to cry because a strange man was taking him away. The man walked through double doors that had a window. I could see Mav looking over the guys shoulder with his bottom lip sticking out and crying.

IT WAS HARD.

We went to the waiting room and got situated for a long wait. Every hour or so the phone would ring and they would call us to the desk for an update. Each time my heart would pound out of my chest until Kody came back with the news. The surgery went faster than expected. The surgeon came out after a few hours. He told us that Mav was a champ. That they had stopped his heart and his blood was oxygenated through bypass. That he had cut an oval shape out of the pericardium and used that tissue to fix the ASD. Then he surgically stitched up the VSD after moving the ventricular valve. The valve had grown into the VSD and was trying to fix it on its own. So it had to be removed and then put back after the fix. They did an echo down his esophagus before they closed him up. Just to make sure things were good. Then they wired his sternum closed and sewed him up. The surgeon said that as soon as they took him off bypass and his heart started beating on its own, it instantly shrunk. When he said this, my heart broke again. My little man was fighting so hard just to eat and breathe and sleep. His little heart was running a marathon everyday. I knew he had problems but to know that his little body was fighting and he was still a happy sweet boy all the time, made me feel so bad for him. Kody told the surgeon he wanted to hug him. He just saved my boys life. There are no words to say to someone you are eternally grateful for. My dad got up out of his chair and gave the surgeon a bear hug through his tears. All I could do was sit and cry. I couldn't move out of my seat. It was such relief. We got to see him at about 1:00 pm. He was in Cardiac Intensive Care. Only 2 people at a time are allowed in. You have to call on a phone in the hall and they have to beep you in. Here he is after surgery. 

 He did well and is recovering so fast. Thank you to EVERYONE

for your messages on facebook, texts, phone calls, notes, etc. We couldn't do this without all the support we have received. Thank you to our tenders back home. My mom, Kody's mom, Natalie, Talia, Kimi, and many more are helping on the home front. 

Mav has since been moved out of CICU and is now in the Children's Surgical Unit. We couldn't spend the night in the CICU but last night Kody stayed with Mav in the CSU. He has been such a great husband/dad through all this. Mav got his chest tube out today and is starting to look like my little boy. He even smiled last night for the first time.

 My mom came up yesterday and is helping up here now. Her sister JoAnna came up too and we have a lot of help. They are keeping me distracted at the hospital and loving on Mav. I'll post more pics soon. THANK YOU to everyone. But mostly to our Father in Heaven for getting us through this. 

Prayers are answered everyday. 

I'll finish with the last verse of "A Child's Prayer" - Heavenly Father, I remember now something that Jesus told disciples long ago, suffer the children to come to me, Father in prayer I'm coming now to thee. :)


(A link to  Mataya's Surgery in case you missed it 3 years ago.)